…heartbeat
of the positive revolution
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70% off cases of Revolutionary Agreements for study groups (see below for details) Honestly! How do you feel when you catch someone telling you a lie? Do you instantly think, "Oh, it's ok. He's just trying to keep from hurting me, so that's why he said he was at the office until 9:00 instead of out drinking with his buddies." Or, "She told me she had lunch with Susan instead of telling me she had lunch with Bob. I understand. She didn't want to worry me." Or do these "low" levels of dishonesty register on your inner Richter scale, building towards an irreversible chasm? One that gets deeper and wider with subsequent lies? And are you silent about them because apparently everyone lies--especially spouses? I was shocked by an article in the October 20 Wall Street Journal entitled, "Lies, Damned Lies and Lies to Tell Your Spouse." It was written for those who take lying lying down. "Let me be clear: I'm not talking about the big, ugly, deal-breaking, deceptions—lies that, if exposed, could destroy a relationship," says the article's author Elizabeth Bernstein. "I'm talking about the fibs and feints and little white lies that serve as a social salve and help a relationship run smoothly. You know what I mean." She reported the lies husbands and wives tell to each other to "avoid conflict" or "protect a loved one." She didn't report how recipients of the lies feel when they learn the truth. Maybe she thinks it's ok as long as you don't get caught. In the midst of condoning a myriad of "little" lies, she had the audacity to quote a psychologist who said, "It's a matter of survival. If you don't fib, you don't live." I'm glad I'm not his wife. Here are a few excerpts from my subsequent letter to Ms. Bernstein:
I hope you'll join me in building a society where truth-telling, rather than "fibs and feints," is the norm. All that is required is to practice and share the Revolutionary Agreements. Honestly! With gratitude,
Your stories are the heartbeat of the positive revolution. Keep them coming! Gail Davidson operates a multi-million dollar home-based wellness business and is co-founder of Heartwood Cohousing in southwest Colorado. www.heartwoodcohousing.com Since working with the Agreements, I notice I have fewer reactions to differing opinions, and am able to more quickly stop myself before laying blame on another. The Agreements remind me to look within for the source of my issue. Once I discover that source, my reaction usually dissipates. Then I can relax and respect the differences of the other or, if need be, express my truth about the matter at hand – with compassion. Practicing these Agreements virtually eliminates negative gossip. And the benefits of more compassionate communication and deeper relationships are deeply gratifying. The Agreements are the foundation and the reason our community is thriving. If all communities were to adopt or adapt these Agreements – families, neighborhoods, businesses, nations (why not?) – the world would be an even more wonderful place to live. Revolutionary News Editor Linda Leary and Marian both volunteer a good deal of time to our community's restorative justice program. Offenders (mostly youth) are given an opportunity to accept responsibility for their crimes, meet with their victims and other community members to hear how all were harmed by their actions and take steps to repair those harms. This community-based justice program results in a remarkably low re-arrest rate: 10% as compared to the nearly 70% recidivism rate of our nation's penal system. Most important, families get to stay together and offenders often become contributing members of their community, rather than a drain on society. It is truly an honor for us to volunteer for this program. We invite you to participate during this week of our annual benefit by joining us on Saturday evening, November 7 for “Pasta, Peace & Pizzazz!” in Longmont, Colorado or contributing financially to this important work. You may learn more about restorative justice and bless this work with your online donation at www.teachingpeace.org. 70% Off Cases Purchased for Revolutionary Agreements Study Groups Marlin Press is supporting the many worship congregations and community groups who are enjoying 6- and 12-week programs to study Revolutionary Agreements by offering the lowest discount ever on cases of books ordered directly through the publisher. With the usual 40% discount offered by distributors to book stores, the case price of 40 books would normally be $526.80 (plus shipping of approximately $30 per case). For a limited time, Marlin Press is offering 70% off of direct case orders, $263.40 per case or $6.59 per book (plus shipping). There's being honest, as in answering a question honestly, and then there's "speaking your truth." My truth or your truth? Is my truth more truthful than your truth, and if so, does that make your truth a lie? Regardless of whose truth it is or isn't I discovered HOW you speak your truth can make a huge difference.
Truth or Consequences I was having fun with the 12 Agreements, I was all gung ho about speaking my truth, (A little too harshly, I fear.) Well, my little black eye is beginning to heal I then looked within because I reacted We both speak the truth and it’s really OK A game of T.A.G.
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