…heartbeat
of the positive revolution
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May 2005 The Miracle of Parenthood Mother's Day and Father's Day honor a most sacred mission. Nowhere is it more important to seed the positive revolution than with our children, the future of our world. Twelve years after choosing to become a parent, my wish was granted in a most exquisite way. The timing was magical: Glenn and I were bringing the 1990 Soviet American Citizens' Summit to a close in Moscow. Former enemies had spent a transformative week working, laughing, and crying together as they created joint projects in areas of common interest: health, education, security, the arts, agriculture, space exploration, spirituality-21 task forces in all. I worked the stage while high up in the 'heavens' of the sound and lighting booth Glenn was playing "Chariots of Fire" as the 1200 citizen-diplomats entered the theater for the final event. With mystifying synchronicity, we were the perfect cogs in Spirit's wheel, unified in our mission to reunite the passionate, caring people of these two lands. That night, bathed in the powerful after glow of such a wondrous event, the intensity of our love created a new life, our son Michael. Fifteen years later, I am still humbled by the awesome task of caring for this gift of Love. I invite you to join Glenn and I as we open fully to receive thanks on these special days for our roles as guardians of our future. As my Mother's and Father's Day gift to you, I offer my second labor of love: the birthing of Revolutionary Agreements. These Agreements have served me well as a parenting guide, enabling me to maintain a close relationship with Michael, especially as he flies headlong (and headstrong!) into the tumultuous teenage years. Actions speak louder than words. By practicing these Revolutionary Agreements in our daily lives, we instill in the hearts of our youth the beauty and wisdom of living in Truth, Acceptance and Gratitude. These are the revolutionary tools of humanity's future leaders. T.A.G. - our children are it!
Agreements in
Action
Marian offers us her own story of how five Agreements helped turn a potentially explosive situation with her teenager into one of understanding and appreciation. When it comes to values, my teenage son and I sometimes look like we're from different planets! For example, peace is one of my highest values. One day, after returning home from a conference on "Creating a Culture of Non-Violence," I had to deal with the fact that Michael had spent the $700 he had earned and saved... to purchase a gun! It was a paintball gun, but any adjective with the word "gun" after it reeked of violence to me. I wanted to scream! Instead, I took a deep breath and reconnected to the day's peaceful focus. I asked, "Michael, why do you like paintballing?" He looked me straight in the eye, smiled broadly and replied slowly and deliberately, "Because you don't." Ugh. Another deep breath. After swallowing that truth, I said, "There are lots of things I don't like. Why did you pick this one?" His face lit up as he told me how much he enjoys the sport. "It's so much more fun than shooting cans in the backyard that don't move. Even paper targets in shooting ranges only move back and forth across the room. But on the paintball field," he said with delight, "it's totally unpredictable. You never know when and where someone's going to suddenly show up. It takes a lot of skill and we have a lot of fun." He was not motivated by violence after all. He loved the challenge and precision of the sport--just like he had when he was a competitive gymnast. With my new understanding, I could release my misconception and the resulting stress it caused. I could begin to imagine the potential benefits of his mastering the skills involved in this sport. What I could not have foreseen was even better: Michael went on to create and captain a competitive paintballing team, learning great lessons about the qualities and challenges of leadership. As I reflect on what supported me to transform this potentially explosive situation into one of relationship-building and growth, I see no less than five Agreements playing a major role: 1. I agree
to lighten up! 2. I agree to respect our differences. 3. I agree to honor our choices. 4. I agree to keep doing what works and change what doesn't. 5. I agree to live my mission. I am learning: A world of peace begins at home.
Bill Seale is a practitioner with the Church of Religious Science
in Ventura, CA. He also volunteers as an assistant with Free
The Heart, an organization providing workshops that guide
participants to free themselves from and forgive past traumas and
issues that prevent them from living full and joyous lives. These
workshops have been presented in churches, schools and prisons.
Paramount Studios is working with the State of Nevada’s Dept.
of Corrections to create a television documentary on the impact
of Free The Heart workshops on the healing and transformation
of prison inmates and victims. With Free The Heart I was able to finally allow my father to rest in peace and forgive the intolerable abuse that, as a child, I suffered at his hands. In the book, Revolutionary Agreements, I discovered the perfect complement to furthering the work I am doing. Recently, it provided the tools I needed to change a personally demeaning relationship at work. In our office there’s a coworker I thought of as “The Office Bully.” He could be verbally abusive and his temper rose at the slightest provocation. This would resurrect my old fears and memories of the abuse I suffered at the hands of my father and I would immediately retreat. I never had the courage to deal with it directly until one night when he called, obviously drunk, and shouted all sorts of abuse and accusations at me for no valid reason. Rather than react and take it personally, I decided to step up and resolve this conflict directly. I said, “I don’t deserve this kind of abuse and I won’t talk to you while you’re drunk. When you’re sober and calm and want to talk rationally, then you can call me.” I was pleasantly surprised when the man did contact me the next day and apologized for being drunk and abusive. I could have let it go at that, but I decided it was time to speak my truth if we were to have a decent working relationship. I discussed honestly and calmly what wasn’t working in the office and our business relationship and suggested some ways we could change it for the better. He actually listened and thanked me for sharing. Our relationship is much more constructive and, even though we do not always agree, we have created greater respect for each other’s point of view. Incorporating the twelve Agreements into my work as a practitioner and volunteer, I am further empowered to fulfill my life’s purpose: to empower greatness by teaching and healing others through being an instrument of God’s Grace. Bill and his wife, Susan, are presently creating a workshop based on the Revolutionary Agreements at the Ventura County Church of Religious Science. They expect to be ready this fall so watch for future details on time and place in our newsletter. Thanks, Bill and Susan, for stepping up and making Revolutionary Agreements part of your mission. Truth with Compassion: Good Business Dorothy Kane, of Louisville,
CO is the owner of Spectacular Gardens Front Range. In her business,
she understands very well the value of resolving conflicts directly
with clear and truthful communication. The result: her business
is “blooming”! In my landscaping business I hire gardeners and outside contractors. One time I hired a gardener whose goal was to start her own business some day. To my dismay, I discovered that this woman was gardening for me with one hand and repeatedly using her cell phone with the other. I approached her, feeling clear and non-judgmental, and told her the simple truth. I said, “While you work for me I request your commitment to be focused on this job and catch up on your personal business at lunch or breaks.” Apparently, this was just what she needed to hear to move her to a decision to step out and start her own business. Now she has her own employee challenges, and hires me to consult with her on landscaping. Great relationships make successful businesses, and great relationships are based on the trust that comes from telling each other the truth, with compassion. Living Her Mission Supports the Greater Community Carol Hoskins is the Conference Coordinator at the Natural Resources Law Center at the University of Colorado School of Law, and has served masterfully as the Geneva Group Communicator for fifteen years. (See Note 2, page 171 of Revolutionary Agreements for background on Geneva Group.) Carol.Hoskins@colorado.edu Carol’s passion to lead a Revolutionary Agreements practice group for her church congregation resulted in the development of a six-week course that is now making its way to groups around the country. She is offering the Facilitator's Guide for FREE for those who want to use it as is or modify it to meet the needs of their groups. It’s available to download at www.RevolutionaryAgreements.com/facilitators. Thanks, Carol. You are a true Revolutionary Leader! Calendar of Events Free Mini-Seminars and Booksignings w/Marian: Friday & Saturday, May 27-28 Denver, CO: Denver Convention Center (Mannatech National Convention) Workshop May 26, 9:00 a.m. – 11:30 a.m.; booksigning during lunchtimes at Expo. Wednesday, June 8, Boulder, CO: Boulder Book Store, 7:30 p.m. Wednesday, June 15, Denver, CO: Tattered Cover Book Store (Lodo), 5:30 p.m. Marian Live on Radio: June 5 12:30-1:00
p.m.:
Join us for "Living
Dialogue" with Duncan Campbell: Tune into station KGNU:
Brief Talks: Sunday, May 29, Boulder, CO: Columbine Unity Church, (at the Bridge School, 6717 S Boulder Rd), guest speaker at the 9:00 a.m. and 10:30 a.m. services Sunday, June 19, Lafayette, CO: New Horizons Church of Religious Science, guest speaker at the 9:30 a.m. service Special Programs : Wednesdays, June 15 – July 20 , 7:30 p.m. – 9:30 p.m., Boulder, CO: Columbine Unity Church, Six-week course on “How To Create More Freedom and Joy In Our Lives and Our World” using Revolutionary Agreements. The course is FREE and donations are lovingly accepted. Books may be purchased at the Columbine bookstore for participants who do not have a copy. To register or find out more about the course, call the course facilitators: Carol Hoskins at 303-661-9697 or Susan Gallagher at 303-443-1599. It seems appropriate that our newsletter was launched in the spring, a time of new beginnings, and of reaffirming who we are and what we are about. As a mother and grandmother, I look back at the roles I played and my many blessings inside of life's bittersweet lessons. Thankfully, I am still learning and am still blessed. Lighten UP, and play T.A.G. with your children.
Blooming
Blessings I spent the day with head in hands I ranted and raved at my naughty child She held some flowers in her hand. I saw the truth, and it was sharp, I lightened up my sour mood, My blooming girl and me. |
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